Love or Stability?
Photo Credit: Kendall Holt
Thirsty Thursday sitting on the patio at a restaurant/bar with one of my good friends; eating chicken wings and having a cocktail. So you know what that means, girl talk. We go through the usual, "How is work? How is your family? Etc." Then of course comes the "love" topic. Now me and this friend of mine can get pretty deep during our conversations. It can go from us touching briefly on our current love life to us talking about our future wants, needs, and expectations awfully quick. We turn our attention off of our personal lives for a moment and start discussing what's more important, love or stability?
After reading a few blogs and articles, I have to say the opinions regarding this topic are pretty interesting. There's a popular saying that "love is all you need", but that is not always necessarily true. Others think money can buy happiness, which can be a foolish belief as well.
Relying on love alone is not always smart for a few different reasons. Love doesn't pay the bills, support your family, and it doesn't always challenge you or promote growth. It's kind of hard to make a relationship work if you're a "go getter" and your significant other likes to just play video games or sit around 24/7. Love is also a feeling that can change over time. One of the most common reasons why people get divorced is not because of infidelity, it's because they no longer are in love with their spouse. Also, not all love is good for you. Drug addicts love drugs, it doesn't mean it is good for them. If you're in love with someone who is toxic for you. Love is not enough.
Stability is great, it is important. However, it is not a great foundation alone for a relationship. It might seem like it's enough for the first few months or years. But without a true connection, you'll be left feeling empty. Which could lead to filling that void elsewhere. I am a true believer in love and finding someone who you are compatible with. Waking up next to someone everyday who you have no real connection with is not pleasing. A successful relationship is about so much more. "Do you have common interests? Do you have fun together? Do you look forward to spending time together? Can you be your real complete self around each other? Does your partner make you want to be a better person?" If you answer no to a lot of these questions, 10 years down the road you’re going to want to be rid of the person you’re with. You'll probably want more.
As you can probably guess, the conversation between my friend and I resulted in, love and stability are equally important. The person you love should aspire to create a stable life for you. Especially if you are considering building together; marriage and children. Love alone isn't enough, but it's valuable and needed. Some people don't like to admit it, but everyone needs and deserves to be loved. You'll never truly live a full life without it.
All advice related to this post is strictly my opinion. Of course, I am no expert lol. What are your thoughts on the topic?